———–

Recently I’ve been contemplating Hebrews chapter 12 and want to share a few thoughts.

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

God allows hardships for our good, so that we’ll be more like Him, so that we’ll share in His holiness. Hardships create a harvest of righteousness and peace if we’ll allow ourselves to be trained by them.

This is something God has been impressing on my heart: will I allow these current hardships to train me to be more like Him? Discipline is NEVER pleasant, but it’s good. Even Jesus was ‘made perfect through suffering‘.

Suffering will make us more complete, more mature, if we walk through it in God’s way. I pray that, as we face these stressful, difficult times, we will stand on the true hope that a good harvest is coming as a result of this loving discipline God is allowing in our lives.

We need encouragement when we’re going through tough times; we need to hear good words that will lift our spirits. It’s almost comical how the writer of Hebrews does this; it certainly goes against my natural tendencies:

In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,

and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,

and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

This is the word of encouragement: difficulties are a sign of God’s love for us. The idea is that rather than trying to get out from under our difficulties, we should be thankful and know that God is lovingly treating us like His children.

I think hardships are also a sign of God’s trust in us; He knows exactly what difficulties we can carry and He allows them into our lives. This good word says: Be encouraged, God is disciplining you!

I don’t mean to imply that the difficulties we face are not as bad as they are. We’re all walking through some very hard times. But God has a purpose and a result in mind; if we’ll submit to Him and endure this hardship as discipline, then our future will hold increasing righteousness and peace and we’ll share in God’s holiness. The very things we long for will be ours as we walk through these hard times with Christ as our guide.

In Him –

Mike

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Over this past decade, God has been teaching me lessons. Some of which I’ve learned and some of which He continues to teach, to get them through my thick head. I am, even at my age, still a child in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Here are a few thoughts as I reflect back –

Many who read this may not be Christians. So, I want to emphasize at the start that the reason I live the life I live is because Christ has called me to walk with Him. He’s a good shepherd.

God is love. Everything He does, whether we understand it or not, is done because of His love for us. His guidance, His teaching, His provision, His correction — all are based in love. Deep, abiding, self-less love.

As we walk with Christ, God will provide what we need when we need it. If I don’t have something, then I don’t need it. If I see that I will need something in the future, then I can be confident that God will give it at the right time. He knows what we need before we even ask.

As followers of Jesus, our lives are not our own, they belong to Him. He is the head; I am not. Olga and I often say that we don’t want to choose our lives, rather we want to receive the life that God has for us. There is much freedom in this.

God really can do more than we can ask or even imagine. I know this from personal experience. So, if you’re praying about your future and have a few options in mind, remember to leave one or two blank spaces for the things you can’t imagine. God may have a completely unexpected turn just around the corner.

God has prepared good work in advance for us to to do, when we walk with Him. This is a comfort, since many of us don’t know our future and are concerned about the coming years.

I’ve learned a few things about God’s nature –

God is a redeemer. When I miss an opportunity, fail in an endeavor, or waste time or opportunities — God can redeem it all, and He wants to.

God brings order out of chaos. He did this at the time of creation, and He continues to bring order to our broken lives.

God brings life where there is death. Death always hurts (death of a relationship, death of a heart’s desire), and God is able bring life to what is completely dead. He loves to do this.

I am so very very thankful for and to the people who have supported us over the years. People have given much to help us do the work God is calling us to do. And this is not just about money. Some have kept us in prayer for a decade. Some have given much-needed advice when we’ve been in difficult times. Some people started giving financial donations ten years ago and have given faithfully all that time, without ever once being asked. At other times, unexpected donations arrived at just the perfect time. I am really amazed at God’s provision through the people He calls. This has built our faith.

Relationships are more important that projects. Jesus said that people will know that we’re His followers by our love for one another. He did not say people would know that we’re his followers by the projects we complete. Love is more important than worldly success. Almost all of our ministry is therefore built on relationships and partnerships. And it is heartbreaking when relationships fail, really heartbreaking.

God promises that He will entrust us with more if we are faithful with a little. Olga and I have tried to be faithful with what He’s given us, and we’ve seen growth over the years. I moved to Russia with two suitcases and an incomplete job description. Now our ministry, based on relationships God has built and empowered by His grace, encompasses various kinds of work in Russia, Estonia, Belarus and Montenegro. It is not up to me how big the ministry becomes; that is God’s decision. We need only be faithful with what we have.

I’ll close with a prayer that has been very important to me for the past 20 years. Olga and I prayed it together on our wedding night. Written by John Wesley in the 1700s, I first heard this Covenant Prayer in a small Methodist church in the countryside on New Year’s Eve.

Christ has many services to be done. Some are easy, others are difficult. Some bring honor, others bring reproach. Some are suitable to our natural inclinations and temporal interests, others are contrary to both. Yet the power to do all these things is given to us in Christ, who strengthens us.

The Prayer

I am no longer my own, but yours.

Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will.

Put me to doing, put me to suffering.

Let me be employed for you or laid aside for you,

exalted for you or brought low for you.

Let me be full, let me be empty.

Let me have all things, let me have nothing.

I freely and heartily yield all things to your pleasure and disposal.

And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,

you are mine, and I am yours.

So be it.

And the covenant which I have made on earth,

let it be ratified in heaven.

Amen.

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I was a schoolteacher of history and a strong atheist.

I taught my students that the religion had been a deception and that exploiters had devised it in order to wield power over poor people.

I thought only about my family welfare and my work at school. I was sure that my lifestyle was good and virtuous and didn’t understand that I was a great sinner.

Life was not easy and was unpredictable.

My mom died from cancer at the age of 49. My brother was killed in Afghanistan at the age of 31. Even having my own family (a husband and two daughters) I often felt myself lonely and unhappy and started to think that there had to be more to life.

When the Soviet regime collapsed and many people rushed to Orthodox churches (we were not allowed to go to a church earlier), my younger daughter and I went there too. Later I had a desire to know about the real faith and wished to have the Bible.

It was in 1996 when I first heard about Jesus Christ and His gift of forgiveness and salvation. Two American ladies, believers, came to our school and had a meeting with the staff.  They showed us the Jesus Film, told us about the love of God and suggested to have a Bible study with us.

I and four more teachers started to visit the Bible study and at last could hold the Bible in our hands and read it. I was really interested in reading the Bible and later my knowledge of the Lord reached my heart and for the first time I felt the reverence for Him.

I repented and received Jesus into my heart. In 1998 at the age of 49 I was baptized.

The former atheist had become a Christian!

I am now a child of God inseparable from Him. Praise be to God!

And I am always very grateful to my American brothers and sisters in Christ that they’ve helped me to come to know God, that they helped us, Russian believers, to plant a church in Ryazan. And of course I understand that it is God who has made those amazing things possible.

God has blessed me abundantly with wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ, as well as with a wonderful family.

Charlie Chastain continues, “one of my fondest memories of Luba is one of the times she worked with us in St. Petersburg. Our team was staying at a guest flat owned by a ministry partner here in town – but the unique thing was that it had a large bookshelf full of Christian books: anything from novels to C.S. Lewis to deep theology. Luba was in heaven!

“She explained that access to this kind of literature in her town was next to nothing.  But because these books were only for the flat, she knew her opportunities were limited to dive in.

“So what did she do? At night, after all of our work was done, Luba would COPY these books by hand so that she’d have an opportunity to read them later.

“Ever since witnessing that, this has been one of the clearest examples to me of what desiring God looks like.”

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True Service

In his classic book Celebration of Discipline, Richard Foster devotes a chapter to the discipline of service, modeled after the radical example of Jesus. In the following excerpt, he contrasts a self-serving version of service with God’s version, urging us to choose the discipline that comes when we serve in Jesus’ footsteps.

If true service is to be understood and practiced, it must be distinguished clearly from “self-righteous service.”

Self-righteous service comes through human effort. It expends immense amounts of energy calculating and scheming how to render the service. Sociological charts and surveys are devised so we can “help those people.”

True service comes from a relationship with the divine Other deep inside. We serve out of whispered promptings, divine urgings. Energy is expended but it is not the frantic energy of the flesh. Thomas Kelly writes, “I find He never guides us into an intolerable scramble of panting feverishness.”

Self-righteous service is impressed with the “big deal.” It is concerned to make impressive gains on ecclesiastical scoreboards. It enjoys serving, especially when the service is titanic.

True service finds it almost impossible to distinguish the small from the large service. Where a difference is noted, the true servant is often drawn to the small service, not out of false modesty, but because he genuinely sees it as the more important task. He indiscriminately welcomes all opportunities to serve.

Self-righteous service requires external rewards. It needs to know that people see and appreciate the effort. It seeks human applause-with proper religious modesty of course.

True service rests contented in hiddenness. It does not fear the lights and blare of attention, but it does not seek them either. Since it is living out of a new Center of reference, the divine nod of approval is completely sufficient.

Self-righteous service is highly concerned about results. It eagerly waits to see if the person served will reciprocate in kind. It becomes bitter when the results fall below expectations. True service is free of the need to calculate results. It delights only in the service. It can serve enemies as freely as friends.

Self-righteous service picks and chooses whom to serve.  Sometimes the high and powerful are served because that will ensure a certain advantage. Sometimes the low and defenseless are served because that will ensure a humble image.

True service is indiscriminate in its ministry. It has heard the command of Jesus to be the “servant of all” (Mark 9:35). Brother Francis of Assisi notes in a letter, “Being the servant of all, I am bound to serve all and to administer the balm-bearing words of my lord.”

Self-righteous service is affected by moods and whims. It can serve only when there is a “feeling” to serve (“moved by the Spirit” as we say). Ill health or inadequate sleep controls the desire to serve. True service ministers simply and faithfully because there is a need. It knows that the “feeling to serve” can often be a hindrance to true service. The service disciplines the feelings rather than allowing the feeling to control the service.

Self-righteous service is insensitive. It insists on meeting the need even when to do so would be destructive. It demands the opportunity to help. True service can withhold the service as freely as perform it. It can listen with tenderness and patience before acting. It can serve by waiting in silence. “They also serve who only stand and wait.”

Self-righteous service fractures community. In the final analysis, once all the religious trappings are removed, it centers in the glorification of the individual. Therefore it puts others into its debt and becomes one of the most subtle and destructive forms of manipulation known.

True service builds community. It quietly and unpretentiously goes about caring for the needs of others. It draws, binds, heals, builds.

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Our past winters have not spoiled us for beautiful views.  We occasionally had some cold spells and some snow, but this time we are really having a winter!!!!   For a few days now we had this beautiful snow covered trees, and the city looks like a winter wonderland!

It is truly a joy to walk through streets and parks and enjoy the clean snow, the lovely trees and buildings covered with frost!  I forgot how much I love waking in downtown St. Petersburg.

I walked by Moika river.  They cleared a little path on the embankment.  The access ways to the water were filled with snow, so I was not able to get down to the ice covered river.

Earlier that day I read from a devotional book about getting to some quiet place where you can see the majesty of the Lord.

Well, I would not call the city a “quiet place”, but I sure did feel His majesty and power even in the midst of stone and granite and power lines and cars. He showed me that He was still in charge, and that He can do whatever He wishes to do.

Men can do great things, they are, after all, made after His image and likeness, but He alone will order the day!

So yesterday I had this wonderful and surprising gift from my Father, and I am so grateful for it!

May the Lord bless you and delight you with small and big wonders!

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I am presently 26 years old. I come from Novorossiysk – a port on the Black Sea, but I have lived and traveled all over Russia.

Together with my brother, I grew up in a family where our father was an abusive alcoholic tyrant and our mom a workhorse for our family.

My conclusion about family life during those years of our father beating us all, and mother enduring, and trying to please everyone was that I WILL NEVER GET MARRIED. Why should I if the man in the family is a murderer and an adulterer while the woman is a silent slave who must endure everything plus keep four jobs to support the children and the husband’s drinking habits?!

If the world is such, I did not want to belong to this world.

So I left home at the age of 11 and began my quest for a different life.

Joining different groups of young people, I traveled the country. If no one opened a home to us, we slept in the parks, or in abandoned buildings. We hung out at rock concerts and made money by playing guitar and singing on the streets and on the subway and asking for donations.

From time to time, I visited Mom and Dad only to see that nothing had changed, so I had to go on the road again. I was really bitter and hated people, often using them for my own gain without any regrets for my behavior.

Life went on under the motto of sex, drugs and rock-n-roll. At some point, I became really interested in the occult, literally sold my soul to the devil, and did rituals, etc.

Sometimes I felt the horror side of it but curiosity won in every case and I continued on this road to hell. I did not think that hell in the afterlife could be any worse than the hell I was born into and grew up in.

When I turned 16, my Mom died. Finally, she was relieved! The last years of her life, she suffered from cancer – but no one told me about it! And I wasn’t even there when she died! I was deeply offended at all my relatives.

I cursed God. I blamed Him for Mom’s death and hated Him.

The conclusion I came to after my Mom’s death was that life is fleeting and that I can die at any moment. This mentality drove me to even more dangerous experiments with my soul and body.

Basically, I decided to waste my life to the full. I got deeper into consuming alcohol and drugs, practiced eastern religions, meditation, free sex and whatever came my way in order to fill the painful void inside – all in vain.

I expected death, but would come back to my senses again and again to find out that I am still on this earth and asking myself a question “Why?, Why am I here?, Why still alive?”

So I stumbled all the way to the year 2004 when after another suicidal fit I “coincidentally” found myself at a Christian rock concert. The songs of the “Sons of Thunder” band touched me so much that I stepped over my pride, left behind my loose company and started talking to one of the band members.

He told me about Jesus and how He changed his life. He was telling his story but it sounded so much like mine, only his had a happy ending, and mine was still unresolved.

He asked me how I came to the concert. I said – “I just did not have anywhere to go, so I came here…” He said – “Oh, it was for you we prayed!” and went on to explain that before the concert they prayed that God would bring people who were desperate and just had nowhere to go.

He invited me to the church the next day and I went. They seemed like angels who came down from the sky; their eyes were shining with light and love. God was speaking to me personally but I did not have the guts to forsake my old life and really follow Jesus.

So I went back to my old ways. More drugs, more sex, more rock-n-roll… Only now I was sort of playing hide and seek with God. One day I was asking Him for help, and the next day I was foolishly running away from Him. But it was impossible to escape the Omnipresent!

In 2006, I badly overdosed on drugs that resulted in some of my organs shutting down and partial paralysis of my body. I went into what they call clinical death but God in His amazing grace and inexplicable mercy visited me at that time.

I remember burning from the fire of His holiness and the great fear that came all over me and shocked me back to life…

Something changed deep inside of me as I found myself back to earth and doctors hovering around.

I did not want to continue life as usual after that incident.

I knew God had given me another chance and I grabbed a hold of His mighty saving hand! I really repented and dedicated my life to Jesus and He took me out of my pit and transformed my whole being.

He took out that wounded, bitter, hardened heart and gave me a new one, alive, soft and loving.

I became a new Nastya – a new creation in Christ Jesus! He gave me a new life – without sin, fornication, drugs, occult and hopelessness!

I can’t thank Him enough for what He has done!

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U2 was in Morocco last year to write some of their newest album and here is a music video that was shot here in the city where we’re studying Arabic.  I couldn’t help but see the symbolism.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Magnificent by U2

Oh, oh, magnificent

I was born, I was born
To be with you in this space and time
After that and ever after
I haven’t had a clue only to break rhyme
This foolishness can leave a heart black and blue, oh, oh

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar

I was born, I was born to sing for you
I didn’t have a choice but to lift you up
And sing whatever song you wanted me to
I give you back my voice from the womb
My first cry, it was a joyful noise, oh, oh

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar
Justified, till we die you and I will magnify, oh, oh
Magnificent, magnificent, oh, oh

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love unites our hearts
Justified, till we die you and I will magnify, oh, oh
Magnificent, magnificent, magnificent

But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. -2 Corinthians 3:16-18.

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———

Who likes to get up on a cold, dark morning? Not me…although in the summer I would probably find another excuse.

But as I was going about my morning routine, an excerpt popped into my head:

“Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance…” (The Gospel of John, 20:1)

What does morning mean to you? Perhaps it includes a lot of moaning and groaning before you begin your day. But how many wonderful discoveries have been made in the morning! The main one, of course, the discovery of our Risen Lord.

That is my encouragement for the day.  

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Looking back at previous blog posts, I noticed that I often post something from Oswald Chambers in October. I wonder why that is. Perhaps the autumn brings about a kind of desperation that makes me reach for something uplifting.

“The challenge to the missionary does not come on the line that people are difficult to get saved, that backsliders are difficult to reclaim, that there is a wedge of callous indifference; but along the line of his own personal relationship to Jesus Christ.

‘Believe ye that I am able to do this?’ Our Lord puts that question steadily, it faces us in every individual case we meet.

The one great challenge is – Do I know my Risen Lord? Do I know the power of His indwelling Spirit?”*

I don’t have a problem asking myself “What would Jesus do?” I think it is a good idea to follow Christ’s example.

However, we can get into a pattern of striving to make ourselves like Christ, by our own means.

Maybe it’s better to ask ourselves, “Do I trust God in this situation? Have I surrendered this to Him, or am I still trying to do it all myself?”

*Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest -reading for Oct. 27th

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I had been thinking recently about the past two years and all the pain I have been through.  I started feeling sorry for myself and a little angry at the circumstances.  The deepest hurts came from lies and broken relationships, regarding my husband’s choices.

So, naturally I was praying about restoration and new understandng as I look at my husband.  God clearly spoke to me and said….you fell in love with a sinner, an outcast….that’s exactly what you are supposed to do!

My devotional the next morning led me to Matthew 9:11-13.   It talks about God sitting with tax collectors and sinners as everyone questioned Him about His motive.

His answer was simple….”It is not the healthy that need a doctor, but the sick. I want kindess more than I want sacrifices.”

At that moment, it dawned on me…..sitting with and loving the ‘broken’ is what God wants from me. It’s what He did!

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